Tumblr. Do it.

Let's face it.  Blogger is so 2008.  All my posts (past, present and future) are here:

http://jamiewroteit.tumblr.com/

Fig Newtons are classy! (And other childhood misconceptions.)

When you were a kid, did you think Fig Newtons were the classiest thing ever?  I did.  I thought they were like fancy, expensive pillows of fruity privilege.  My friend Cathy thought the same thing.  She said, and I quote, "I ate those like a prissy rich bitch." Which, apparently meant taking lots of small bites.  Why did we think this?  I thought perhaps it was some brilliant marketing ploy by Nabisco, but after a quick YouTube search I found no evidence of one.  But it got me thinking, what other misconceptions did little Jamie have?

1. I thought only rich people could be Republicans.

I remember wondering why my aunt said she was Republican.  She lived in a small house and had 3 kids, and I was pretty sure she wasn't rich.  

2. I thought Santa Clause left the wrapping paper he used to wrap presents.

Obviously, years later, I realized that my mother was just wrapping presents from "Santa" in different paper than the rest of our presents, then leaving the half-used roll under the tree next to our pile of gifts.  I'm starting to wonder if she just left the roll out by accident one year and when I asked about it, she made up this shit about Santa leaving the paper behind...

3. Boys are smelly and gross.

Nope, that's actually true.  How do I know?  Live with a guy, then give him his own bathroom.  

4. NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!! OHMIGOD I LOVE YOU JOEY!!!!
Thankfully my taste in music has evolved since I was screaming at the top of my lungs from the lawn seats at Sandstone Amphitheater.  I wonder whatever happened to my Joey doll and Donnie t-shirt...

5. Staying up late is fun!
Oh how I remember the days when I forced my eyelids to stay open for just one more Nick-At-Nite show, but I usually gave up when Alfred Hitchcock Presents started.  That show creeped me out.  Now I start my nightly get-ready-for-bed routine around 8:30 so I can be in bed by 9:00.  Which, ironically is only 30 minutes later than my childhood bedtime.  Ah, the circle of life.


Another misconception I had was that I'd actually remember shit, so...that's all I remember.  What about you?

Camper and Sierra go to Lake Tahoe!

Hope Valley, near South Lake Tahoe, CA

We recently went on a weekend getaway to Lake Tahoe with our two doggies, Camper and Sierra.  It was a beautiful winter wonderland with nearly 6 ft. of snow on the ground and a warm sun in the sky.  The pups were overjoyed with frolicking in the snow for the first time ever!  I finally had a chance to sit down with them and talk about the trip:

Jamie: So, Camper, how did you enjoy your first time in the snow?  

Camper: Whatz sno?

Jamie: Oh, um, it’s the cold white stuff you walked on.  When you got thirsty you licked it, remember?

Camper: O yeh, I reemembers.  Uh, it wuz fun!  I liked runnin in it.  And then I liked layin in it.  And then I liked licken it.

Camper prepares for his interview.

Jamie: Great! I knew you would.  You know, you’re a husky and huskies are made to withstand really cold temperatures.  But this was the first time you’d ever been anywhere really cold, wasn’t it?

Camper: Kan I lick youz face?

Jamie: What?

Camper: I wanna lick youz face.  Kan I?

Jamie: No.  We’re not licking faces right now.  Back to the snow...remember when we went to hang out with all the other huskies and you helped them pull the sleds around in the snow?  Was that fun?

Camper: Ya, dat wuz purty fun.  But I no like bein tied to stuffs, I just wants to run!

Sierra: That wasn’t fun.  That was animal cruelty.

Jamie: Sierra, you didn’t like dog sledding?

Sierra: No.

Jamie:  But you guys got to pull sleds with professional sled dogs!  Some of them still compete in the Iditarod.  Don’t you guys know what that is?  Don’t they cover that in your doggie newsletters?  It’s a big deal!

Sierra: When you said we were going dog sledding, I assumed the dogs would be riding in the sled, not pulling it.

Camper: Watz a ididerdod?

No idea what they're in for.

Jamie: It’s a famous dog sledding race held every year in Alaska.  Remember when you got to lead the team and ran next to the pretty white husky, Olive?  She used to race in it every year.

Camper: Yeh, she was purty. But teh doggies wuz loud! Barkin and jumpin and they goes fast!!

Sierra: They were offensive and loud.

Jamie: I know Sierra, you didn’t like dog sledding. Did you enjoy any other part of the trip?

Sierra: Well, lets see, you tied me to a pack of loud, rowdy, furry mongrels against my will, made me run around in a giant circle while tied to said mongrels, I was forced to lay on the cold ground with no blanket or tent to protect me from the elements...

Jamie: It was 45 degrees out, and all the dogs were laying on the ground.  Not just you.

Sierra: Don’t get lippy.  I also had to sleep in the truck with this hairy nincanpoop while you and the other humans were living it up in a hotel.

Jamie: You got to sleep on a giant fuzzy blanket in an extended cab truck that’s about 10 times the size of your kennel and it was plenty warm in there.

Sierra: Don’t get me started on the size of my kennel. 

Jamie: YOU’RE A DOG!

Camper: Kan I licks yo face now?  

Jamie: O.k. Let’s get back on track here.  Sierra, did you like hiking in the snow?  

Sierra: I liked it when Camper fell through the snow drift.

Jamie: Uh...yeah, that was a little funny.

Sierra: I saw you laugh at him when it happened.

Jamie: I saw you laugh at him too.

Camper: Woof! At leest I dint havs to wear a coat, Sierra!

Sierra: It was cold!  I have short hair!  

Camper: hehehehe...youz a weenie.

Sooo sleepy.  Must. Rest. Head.

Sierra: I don’t have to stand for this, I’m leaving.

Jamie: Okay, well, I guess the interview is over.  Seems a good time was almost had by all.  I know I had fun hiking and throwing snow balls at the dogs...

Sierra yells from the other room: That wasn’t o.k.!!  You could put an eye out with those things!

Jamie: ...and hopefully we’ll get to take another trip soon.  

Camper: Nowz I lick yer face?

Jamie: Fine.  Wait, didn’t you eat your own poop today?