Things I've Learned Since Dan's Been Gone

Dan is gone to Kentucky for two weeks and we're currently at the half-way mark of his absence.  At this time it's unsure if I'll manage to survive the remaining half.  But if I do, I'm promised a t-shirt that reads "I ♥ KY."  Here's what I've learned in the week so far:

1. Street sweeping is a sham.  It says you can't park on our street from 3 am - 6 am on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.  I walked the dogs from 6:15 - 6:25 am on Tuesday morning and watched the street sweeper sweep the adjacent street, and approach the intersection to our street, only to turn the other way leaving piles of dirt, leaves and garbage and up and down the empty street.  Jackass.  I coulda parked there you know!

2.  These dogs are trying to kill me.  How do I know this?  Because of their poop.

  2a. Sierra has decided the park accross the street from our apartment is her park.  She doesn't understand why stranger dogs would be walking in her park.  Ever.  So when they do, she not-so-politely instructs them to get the f*ck out while pulling my arm out of the socket.  Sometimes she waits until I'm bent over, picking up her poo, then lunges for the other dog.  This results in poo flying in multiple directions.

  2b. Camper has explosive diarrhea.  Lets move on...

3. I much prefer walking/taking the train to driving.  You never have to parallel park a train.  Though parallel parking Dan's truck feels like I'm trying to parallel park a train.  On the upside, I'm sure I've given people in the neighborhood plenty of parking enduced entertainment.

4. Was I supposed to eat this week?  Dammit.

5. We are EXTREMELY lucky to have such wonderful neighbors and friends.  So far this week Teresa has walked the dogs each afternoon, cleaned up explosive diarrhea, rescued my palm tree from certain disaster, and fed Camper his special tummy diet.  After all that, she deserves a day at the spa.  I'll probably just give her some baked goods.

"What plant?" Photo courtesy of Teresa Goodwin.

6.  I don't like Dan being gone.

Guest Blogger: Camper!

Dear friends, family and blog-follwers:  Sorry for the delay in new musings.  Life, for the time being, seems to have taken hold of all my time and will not share it with me.  As a special treat for waiting so long, I'm bringing in a guest blogger.  He's had quite an exciting last few weeks and would just love to tell you all about it.  But please forgive his spelling errors.  He is, after all, a dog.

Hello Hoomans!

Camper hard at work writing.

It's me, Camper!  The noowist and purtiest edishun to deh Evans-Ball familee.  I'm gunna post this week's blog cuz I been doowin all sorts uh kewl stuffs.  A cupple weeks ago I went to dah Point Isabel Dog Park for the furst time evah!  It waz soooo amazun my doggie head almost ES-PLOH-DED!!  I WANTED TO RUN EVEREE WHERES!!  But meh hoomans wuld not takes off dah leesh.  Unkewl.  But after a lil bit, dey dropped meh leesh!!  Cuz at home dey says meh name, I come to dem and get treets.  But I not gunna come to dem at deh park, cus ders too much goins on!!  So I runs throo deh park and out to where deh hooman cars are, just to sees wats happenin.  Den meh hoomans catched up and dey was all outta breath like they waz runnin.  Dunno why.

Den a weeks later I goes back to Point Isabel.  Only dis time, dey not drop my leesh.  Bummers.  But dey puts me on a reelly reelly longer leesh, so I canz run around wile deys holds me.  It wuz sooooo MUCH FUNZ!!  But sumtimes I forget dey still has da leesh and I starts to run far, den dah leesh jerk me round in a sircle and all deh hoomans laffed at meh.  I gunna pees on deh floor laters for dat.  Hehehehehe.

Den sumthin SOOPER KEWL happind.  I learns how to open deh front door!  And I didn't need thums ur nothin!  Our front door has a handle insted of a nob and thanx to sum sooper great fire codes, deh door unloks when you pulls on deh handle!  So wile mom and dad were out, I wents over to dah park to chase birds and eat deh bread krazy old peeple feeds to dem.  Den the naybor hoomans came with der doggie, Shiloh and day tooks me home and told mom and dad on me.  Den dad tooks dah door apart and it done open any moors.

Dats just a fews of the way good stuffs I been doin'.  I reely likes it here!  K, bye.