When you were a kid, did you think Fig Newtons were the classiest thing ever? I did. I thought they were like fancy, expensive pillows of fruity privilege. My friend Cathy thought the same thing. She said, and I quote, "I ate those like a prissy rich bitch." Which, apparently meant taking lots of small bites. Why did we think this? I thought perhaps it was some brilliant marketing ploy by Nabisco, but after a quick YouTube search I found no evidence of one. But it got me thinking, what other misconceptions did little Jamie have?
1. I thought only rich people could be Republicans.
I remember wondering why my aunt said she was Republican. She lived in a small house and had 3 kids, and I was pretty sure she wasn't rich.
2. I thought Santa Clause left the wrapping paper he used to wrap presents.
Obviously, years later, I realized that my mother was just wrapping presents from "Santa" in different paper than the rest of our presents, then leaving the half-used roll under the tree next to our pile of gifts. I'm starting to wonder if she just left the roll out by accident one year and when I asked about it, she made up this shit about Santa leaving the paper behind...
4. NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!! OHMIGOD I LOVE YOU JOEY!!!!
Thankfully my taste in music has evolved since I was screaming at the top of my lungs from the lawn seats at Sandstone Amphitheater. I wonder whatever happened to my Joey doll and Donnie t-shirt...
5. Staying up late is fun!
Oh how I remember the days when I forced my eyelids to stay open for just one more Nick-At-Nite show, but I usually gave up when Alfred Hitchcock Presents started. That show creeped me out. Now I start my nightly get-ready-for-bed routine around 8:30 so I can be in bed by 9:00. Which, ironically is only 30 minutes later than my childhood bedtime. Ah, the circle of life.
Another misconception I had was that I'd actually remember shit, so...that's all I remember. What about you?
3. Boys are smelly and gross.
Nope, that's actually true. How do I know? Live with a guy, then give him his own bathroom.
4. NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!! OHMIGOD I LOVE YOU JOEY!!!!
Thankfully my taste in music has evolved since I was screaming at the top of my lungs from the lawn seats at Sandstone Amphitheater. I wonder whatever happened to my Joey doll and Donnie t-shirt...
5. Staying up late is fun!
Oh how I remember the days when I forced my eyelids to stay open for just one more Nick-At-Nite show, but I usually gave up when Alfred Hitchcock Presents started. That show creeped me out. Now I start my nightly get-ready-for-bed routine around 8:30 so I can be in bed by 9:00. Which, ironically is only 30 minutes later than my childhood bedtime. Ah, the circle of life.
Another misconception I had was that I'd actually remember shit, so...that's all I remember. What about you?
