Shoe Sale!

Dan's been complaining that I haven't written a new blog.  He also complains that I have too many shoes.  So I'm giving away a bunch of shoes on my blog in hopes he'll stop complaining about both things.  I told him this idea and he said, "You mean you're gonna write a blog to Jess telling her she can have your shoes?"  Yeah, basically.  And that brings us to the first pair.

Purple and teal plaid, open toe, Baker's Shoes, Size 8

Jess Egan has attempted to steal these shoes from my closet on more than one occasion.  She gets first dibs.  And only if she passes on them will they become fair game to the general Blogger public.  You know you all want them.  I can see you gasping through the screen now.

Steve Madden, Black leather, Size 8

Only worn once.  While going through my closet, I put these on to show Dan.  I paraded out into the living room and said, "What do you think?  Keep or give away?"  He said, "Those look like [an invitation to engage in adult activity] heels."  I definitely don't need to send that vibe out, but if you want to send that vibe out I'm not here to judge, I'm just here to give you the shoes.

Purple, open toe flats, Old Navy, Size 8

So I bought these at Old Navy.  I guess for the same reason you buy anything at Old Navy, they're cute and cheap.  Then I never wore them, as, again, is the case with most things I buy at Old Navy. So now they can be yours for the low low price of not-a-damn thing.

Brown Cowboy Boots, Cathy Jean, Size 8

Cowboy boots...what can I say?  I bought them for a Halloween Costume.  Yeah, cowgirl.  Then I lent them out twice to someone who needed them for a cowgirl costume.  You can feel free to use them for whatever you want, no cowgirl outfit required.

Tan Mary Janes, Nine West, Size 8

Ok, yes, these are a little boring.  But if you're forced to dress up for work like I used to be, these are your best friend.  They're closed-toe so they adhere to any pesky shoe rules your office might have, plus they're low, easy-to-walk-in (or run, depending on your situation) dress shoes.  Slightly more worn than the rest, but still in good condition.

Grey Suede Bootie Flats, Steve Madden, Size 8

I thought these were super cute and seemed to be all the bootie/flats rage.  Then I got them home and remembered I'm 5'3" when I jump in the air so I probably don't need boots that emphasize shortness.

Shiny Mustard Yellow, Chinese Laundry, Size 8

These are totally, 100% comfortable.  Like pillows on your feet.  That's why I've chosen to get rid of them.  Trust me.  Anyway, they're an excellent shoe if you need a POP of color.

Purple & Black plaid, Steve Madden, Size 8, run small

Caption says it all.  They were cute.  They were on sale.  I brought them home.  I wore them once.  They hurt my toes.  Now they collect dust.  I'll clean the dust off if you want them.

BCBG, Size 8, Multi-Colored Wedges

So hip, so modern, so not made for walking long distances.  If your main job in life is to stand still and look pretty, these are your shoes.  They're worth the sacrifice.  I think I'll miss these most of all...

Grey, Keds, Size 8

And last but not least, these comfy kicks.  Worn once, then sat in my closet until I realized no person in their right mind needed 3 pair of grey sneakers.  These can easily be funked up with colorful shoelaces, which was my original plan when I bought them, but now I'm too tired for funk.

Seriously, if you want any of these shoes, just comment below or message me.  If I like you, or if you live in the San Francisco Bay Area, they're yours free of charge.  If I don't like you, you have to pay shipping.  I'm not a shoe bank, ya know.  So why am I giving away so many pretty shoes?  Because Goddammit, my feet hurt and my closet is small.

 

Things I've Learned Since Dan's Been Gone

Dan is gone to Kentucky for two weeks and we're currently at the half-way mark of his absence.  At this time it's unsure if I'll manage to survive the remaining half.  But if I do, I'm promised a t-shirt that reads "I ♥ KY."  Here's what I've learned in the week so far:

1. Street sweeping is a sham.  It says you can't park on our street from 3 am - 6 am on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.  I walked the dogs from 6:15 - 6:25 am on Tuesday morning and watched the street sweeper sweep the adjacent street, and approach the intersection to our street, only to turn the other way leaving piles of dirt, leaves and garbage and up and down the empty street.  Jackass.  I coulda parked there you know!

2.  These dogs are trying to kill me.  How do I know this?  Because of their poop.

  2a. Sierra has decided the park accross the street from our apartment is her park.  She doesn't understand why stranger dogs would be walking in her park.  Ever.  So when they do, she not-so-politely instructs them to get the f*ck out while pulling my arm out of the socket.  Sometimes she waits until I'm bent over, picking up her poo, then lunges for the other dog.  This results in poo flying in multiple directions.

  2b. Camper has explosive diarrhea.  Lets move on...

3. I much prefer walking/taking the train to driving.  You never have to parallel park a train.  Though parallel parking Dan's truck feels like I'm trying to parallel park a train.  On the upside, I'm sure I've given people in the neighborhood plenty of parking enduced entertainment.

4. Was I supposed to eat this week?  Dammit.

5. We are EXTREMELY lucky to have such wonderful neighbors and friends.  So far this week Teresa has walked the dogs each afternoon, cleaned up explosive diarrhea, rescued my palm tree from certain disaster, and fed Camper his special tummy diet.  After all that, she deserves a day at the spa.  I'll probably just give her some baked goods.

"What plant?" Photo courtesy of Teresa Goodwin.

6.  I don't like Dan being gone.

Fun With Neighbors

You can’t pick your neighbors, and when you live in an urban setting your neighbors multiply while the square footage shrinks.  Over the past month, we’ve learned quite a bit about our neighbors.  Some good, some bad, and some just not right.  As our loft is a first floor corner unit, we often see various neighborhood peeps walking by.  We also hear a lot of interesting conversations courtesy of our open windows.  The most…uh….fascinating are the conversations people have with themselves while waiting on the corner for the light to change.  Then there’s the pudgy Philippine-Asian-Super Creep that lives in the house behind our building who, instead of walking down the street and talking to himself, stands on his stoop and talks to himself.  Which makes walking by SUPER enjoyable.  Sometimes he even does a little dance and hops from foot to foot, which really only adds to the enjoyment of passersby. 

Not all our neighbors are crazy though (thank God).  We also met the loveable, happy pup Shiloh and his human counterparts Elliot and Theresa.  We first encountered the trio soon after Elliot and Theresa had adopted their new family member and were walking down our street (they live in the same building).  We just happened to recognize Shiloh from a local Petfinder.com advertisement and struck up a conversation.  Since then we’ve gone on puppy play dates, they’ve had us over for dinner and even lent us some glasses and mugs to use as ours are now lost and gone forever thanks to those wonderful movers.  

But now, it’s time to tell you about the most horrible urban neighbor ever known to man: the street sweeper.  It’s bossy and dictates where you park on what days, it’s loud and shows absolutely no regard for whether or not you’re sleeping, it’s loud, and it’s frigging loud. 

Alas, thus is our new urban life; the good, the bad and the downright crazy.

Adios Florida!

Today is my last official day as a Floridian and tomorrow Dan and I embark on our cross-country road trip for California!  Coast-to-coast!!  Am I crazy?  Don’t answer. 

Things I will not miss about Florida:

1) Walking out the door at 7 am and breaking out into an immediate, full-body sweat.

2) I-4 and the five thousand toll roads I am forced to drive on to get in and out of the city.

3) Strip malls

4) Strip malls

5) Theme parks, all of them and everything about them.

6) Sunburns even after repetitive and liberal applications of sun block.

Things I will miss about Florida:

1) Redneck dive bars, specifically Kings Duck Inn where the draft beer is so cold there are icicles floating in it!!

2) Park Ave CD’s and their willingness to special order anything my heart (and ears) desire.

3) Mellow Mushroom Pizza (perhaps I’ll open a franchise in California) 

5) Jess Egan

6) Jess Egan’s food

Jess, if I give you my new address will you mail me Thanksgiving dinner?

You're doing what?!

In the summer of 2005 I moved from my rural home in eastern Kansas to the city of Orlando, Florida.  What did I know about Orlando? I knew it was hot, that it rained once a day and that it offered a wide variety of vacation options for you and your family.  I went there looking to broaden my horizons, experience new things and to see how people live outside the farm.  What I found was a bunch of white dudes from the northeast driving around in their big expensive cars, throwing parties in their big expensive houses and showing off their super skinny, expensive wives.  Alas, Orlando was not all bad.  I also found Park Ave CDs, Brian’s Restaurant, the Winter Park Farmer’s Market, and Jess Egan (the only known offspring of June Cleaver and Martha Stewart).  But then, Orlando, you went too far.  You built one too many strip malls.  You franchised one too many Starbucks.  You almost had me back when you opened two H&M locations, but then you put them at opposite ends of the city and nowhere near my house.  Orlando, I gave you five years of my life; you gave me some good times, some good friends, and probably skin cancer from all the sunburns, but that remains to be seen.

And so, I am venturing out again to find a new place to call home and to see how people live outside of strip malls.  My new home will be in the land of the Bay Area in California.  Or more specifically the East Bay/Oakland area, which is across the Golden Gate bridge from San Francisco.  (I'm poor and the price per square footage on rental units is much less there compared to San Francisco.)

Return here each week as I chronicle the epic move from coast to coast (LITERALLY!) and all my new experiences as a Californian!