Anyone missing a well-dressed drunk?

I woke up this morning to an email from our Property Manager, Beverly.  Typically emails from Beverly mean one of two things: surprise building maintenance, or we owe money.  Oh how wrong I was.  How amazingly, and hilariously wrong.  Some background information you need to know before I tell you what her email entailed:


We live in a building that has apartments and lofts.  We have a loft, which is on the first floor and has it's own entrance from the street.  People who live on floors two through four have regular apartments and must enter through the front lobby of the building.  We only go into the lobby to check our mail and dump our trash, so for the most part, we're spared the "joys" of apartment living.  Below is an excerpt of the email, detailing such "joys" which we have, thankfully, been spared:


"Good morning,
For the past few days, there has been an unusual amount of messes left around the building. Most surprisingly what was found this morning, a pile of feces between the 2nd and ground floor stairwell on the 10th St. side."

Yes people...feces.  Apparently when you gotta go, you gotta go.  Oh, but there's more:

"Earlier this morning, one of the residents found a drunk man passed out in front of a unit on the 4th floor. Please see attached photos and if you know who he is or if you saw anything last night, please let me know."

PHOTOS WERE ATTACHED!!!  I nearly lost my mind from giddy enjoyment at the misfortune of this seemingly mature, well-dressed gentleman.  The poor guy got all snazed  up only to pass out in the hallway of a strange building while his friends partied on, a stranger pooed in the stairwell, and an angry neighbor snapped his picture, which is now on the internet.  Now THAT is a Saturday night.